crocs with socs™
Have you ever worn a pair of crocs? Many people feel that crocs are hideous shoes that should never have been invented.
A friend of mine is quite the shoe collector and is actually straight. When he got a pair several years ago, he made it a point to mention how comfortable they were. I filed this away for future reference as I think far too many shoes are far too uncomfortable.
Fast forward several years to Thanksgiving 2008. There was a new outlet mall in the area that was having some crazy sale for which they were opening at midnight — as if 6am on Black Friday isn’t early enough!
My wife opted to go check it out with friends. I opted not.
This is one of myriad ways that I know my wife loves me. She shops (often for me) while I sleep. It is a wonderful form of multitasking!
She bought a pair of crocs for me to wear around the house. We had just moved into our new home and after donating my spleen to have the carpets cleaned, we had decided to use different shoes for inside and outside of the house. This is actually pretty common in many countries (I’m not referring to spleen donation). Alternatively, some avoid wearing shoes in the home altogether. In the states, either method is quite an adjustment.
I tried them on and though I was not impressed, my feet rallied and their combined votes overturned my personal preference. I’m not sure, but I think the long “Ahhh…” uttered by my metatarsals was faintly audible.
Now, let’s examine for a moment “fashion”, which in itself, cracks me up (not crocs me up – follow along with me). Fashion is kind of a funny thing in that it is actually defined as a “prevailing style” where prevailing means “frequently” or “continuously in use”.
So, the runway models that you see on these highfalutin “fashion” shows really don’t reflect “fashion” after all. They are like the concept cars that one sees in a Detroit auto show. They aren’t on the road and they certainly aren’t prevalent. The clothes they wear are concepts that some designer thinks or hopes will bring them fame, fortune, or both. I know, someone out there is going to say, “But you can actually buy those clothes – unlike the concept cars!” Fine, you go right ahead.
What we see in the real world, is that crocs, though they may be ugly, are actually fashionable by definition because many people wear them. Adding insult to injury, is the severe ugliness achieved when one wears socks (or socs™) with one’s crocs.
I’m actually quite open to this because I’m a “form follows function” kind of guy. In Germany, I learned that socks with sandals provide what is often the perfect balance of “warmth with ventilation”, regardless of how ugly they may be (I’m not saying Germans are ugly — as I said, follow along with me). After all, millions of people can’t be wrong, right? Hmmm… perhaps I should skip the reference to the holocaust.
So, I came up with the phrase “crocs with socs™” which I effectively own. I now receive a royalty for each time my trademarked phrase is used world-wide. The appropriate sub-royalties are, of course, paid to the crocs company for that first word in the phrase which still belongs to them, per our negotiated contract.
In order to comply with the royalty structure, please be sure to click the PayPal link below in order to pay the appropriate fees each time you use the phrase “crocs with socs™”. If the PayPal link is not displayed in your browser, please click the refresh button ad naseum until it appears so that you can be fully compliant.
Fashion, Humor