Colby’s Thoughts

This is my first fashion post.  Some of you have been eagerly anticipating it while others are running for cover.  Don’t roll your eyes just yet.

Remember, I’ve already said that I’m the dictator here and I’m an expert on all topics I write about (as far as you know).

Let me begin by defining a word (from Wiktionary)

fetter (plural fetters) n.

1. A chain or similar object used to bind a person or animal by its legs (usually in plural).
2. Anything that restricts or restrains in any way.

to fetter (transitive) v.

1. To shackle or bind up with fetters
2. To restrain or impede; to hamper.

Currently, the topic is baggy pants.  In many contexts, I subscribe to the principle that “form follows function“.  What this means is that something has to work properly first before you try to make it look nice.

This is where so many modern fashions fall short (or in this case, shorts fall, as in “to the ankles”).  If you cannot perform the normal functions that one encounters throughout the day, then why choose that style?  I submit that this is one of the reasons we don’t see many garments made from plates of tinted glass.  Yeah, that conjures up a bloody sight.  When new, they’d probably look pretty cool though!

I cannot even imagine trying to run in these baggy pants.  Have you ever heard of the phrase “caught with your pants down”?  People are out there right now being “caught with their pants down” on purpose.

Running and performing other routine tasks in these pants would be on par with wearing leg irons, otherwise known as fetters.

Supposedly, this trend in pants originated in the prisons.  Strange that people would want to imitate it in the free world.

There is a simple test that can be used to determine if a garment is acceptable.  I call it the “burger and soft drink test”, though you could also call it the “two limbs free test”.  Can one wear the garment and eat a burger while holding on to their soft drink?

Pants that require the coordinated use of at least 3 limbs are impractical.  Ever notice how the wearers of these fetter pants have to use one hand and a strange “hitch in my giddy-up” step in order to keep from fully exposing themselves?

Yes, leg iron pants (LIPs for short) just don’t cut the mustard.

Now, just in case you’re inclined to disagree with me, I’m warning you!  There is a “Fashion Police” and they agree with me.

Isn’t it interesting that a fashion that originated in the prisons is being imitated on the street and, in some cases, sending people to jail?

Fettered by one's own volition

Culture, Fashion

Hollywood is full of it — whatever “it” is.  I enjoy watching DVDs, both movies and TV series.  For me though, it is about entertainment value.  I grow weary of those attempts by media makers to foist their views upon us.  I don’t care to “church” in Hollywood.

On the other hand, I’m a firm believer that one shouldn’t throw the baby out with the bath water.  Even a proclaimed Satanist can likely teach me something of value.  I’m just not interested in his theology.  He may have some great tax advise, however.

Similarly, I was shocked to hear such an interesting tidbit today while again watching season one of 24.  For those unfamiliar, Kiefer Sutherland plays the role of Jack Bauer, a Counter Terrorist Unit (CTU) operative.  In the episode that takes place from noon to 1 pm, Jack is seeking temporary refuge in an abandoned water tower.  With him, is a character named Rick who was working with the terrorists but had a change of heart and began helping Jack.  In their dialogue, Jack says to Rick:

Son, part of getting a second chance is taking responsibility for the mess you made in the first place.

Such veracity from Hollywood deserves commendation.  Hollywood, consider yourself commended!

Culture

I sometimes feel that I live in a different world than those people I see around me.  Is that because I’m a stranger to this world?  A pilgrim en route to another destination?

I’d like to think that I have a good walk with God, but I’m not that proud, haughty, or “holy”.  Still, things happen around me, seemingly in a whirlwind.  Nevertheless, I feel “steady on”.  Sometimes, it is almost as though I cannot relate to those around me.

Why would someone stand in Times Square for 10 hours with the temperature at 19° and a windchill around 2° in order to watch a ball drop at midnight and then actually say it’s fun?  Are they lying?  Maybe I just don’t know how to have fun?

I often try to be accepting of the views others hold.  After all, it is what makes us all unique and diverse.  God created us that way which must mean it is both intentional and good.  For me, fun is something different.

Perhaps they were having “fun” because they were loaded?  I don’t get that either.  Maybe I never found my limits with regard to alcohol.  But I know from experience, that overdoing the alcohol doesn’t lead to “fun”.  It leads to time spent in front of a porcelain fixture.

Perhaps I’m just an old fuddy-duddy.  I’ve been subject to drug and alcohol testing at work for many years now.  The effort required to “plan” when it is okay to have a drink just isn’t worth it to me.  So, I basically abstain.

Years ago, my wife and I brought back several liters of rum from our honeymoon in the Caribbean.  Finally we just threw the stuff out.  We never thought of drinking it when it was an appropriate time.

Note to self:  Add “have a drink” to To Do list for next vacation.  See if it is “fun” and report back.

So, coming back to the point, I sat on the couch, carefully wrapped up in an afghan (more to commiserate with those poor folks in New York than because it was cold here), remote in hand, and listened to Dick Clark carefully slur in the New Year.  I think that whoever coughed up the five million dollars for that ball paid way too much!

Perhaps I’m just grumpy because my wife and child are at grandma’s.

Culture